half of my heart

Happy 2014! We didn’t do anything exciting for new years eve, but when you have an alarm clock that you cant press the snooze button on (aka a baby), staying up late loses its appeal J We made it to 10:30 and then called it a night. I’m looking forward to the days when we can just let caleb crawl into bed with us when he wakes up early and let him watch cartoons or something while we stay in bed a little bit longer!

After I had Caleb, I took 3 months of maternity leave, and then went back to work part time. I work in the office two days a week and then work from home one day a week. I’m very grateful that my supervisors agreed to let me work part time and so far, I’ve been able to keep a handle on things, although I’m super super busy when I’m at work! It’s a really great situation for me! I still get to be home with Caleb a few days a week but I also get to keep up my work skills and am able to contribute financially to the family. Chad’s mom watches Caleb when I’m working and she loves watching him J I was worried that it would be a burden, but she has grown very attached to my cutie-pie!!

Even though I really do have a great working situation, sometimes I struggle with not being able to “have it all”. When I worked full-time, I was “analyst extraordinaire”. I had ample time to pursue my own research and also learn new techniques. I had lots of responsibilities, and I really enjoyed being one of the “go-to” analysts. I still am able to accomplish a lot part-time, but I don’t have time to pursue my own research or first author my own papers. While I struggle with not being able to accomplish quite as much at work, I also struggle with not being able to be around Caleb when I’m at work.  I get jealous of the time that Wendy gets to be with Caleb and get sad that I can’t do everything with him! Sometimes I feel like because I work part-time in the office and am only home part-time, I do a bad job at being an employee and also a bad job at being a mom! I know that isn’t true- I’m valued a lot at my job and I accomplish a lot even though I’m only 60%… and I’m still able to do a lot with Caleb- I’m home with him 2.5 days out of the 5 day work-week, but sometimes Negative Nancy takes over and I get discouraged (no offence to anyone named nancy). Wouldn’t it be neat to have a time-turner like Hermione so I could be in two places at once? J Although if I were able to just choose one magic power from Harry Potter, it would be the power to apparate… how amazing would that be!  But I digress….

I’ll end this post on a funny note. A few weeks ago, I got stuck in the revolving door on my way to work..! There was a yellow wet floor caution sign right by the revolving door, and I kicked it over and got it wedged in the door while I was pushing it around. Luckily, someone was near me and pulled It out of the door. Clumsy Chrissy strikes again ;)

my emotional thoughts today

So.. I dont really think anyone knows this blog site anymore... so this post is for me :) and for you if you're dedicated enough to check a blog that I havent updated in 3+ years! :)

So...since I last wrote 3 years ago, so much has changed!! I'm a mother. Wow. I'm a mom. I've been entrusted with a beautiful precious sweet funny baby boy, and it's up to me (and Chad of course) to care for him..love him....protect him... nurture him.....provide spiritual guidance....make decisions that will affect him the rest of his life....etc.. etc.. etc. Motherhood is tough, overwhelming, terrifying, stressful, tiring, emotional, amazing, wonderful, hilarious, magical, indescribable.

My little buddy is 8 months old. Wow. 8 months old. That means in 4 months, he'll be 1. And that means that soon, I'll only have 17 more years left with Caleb at home, if I'm lucky. And 17 years might sound like a lot... but these past 8 months have flown by so quickly that 17 years sounds like a very short time indeed (as my friend Erin helped me to realize). There's a Wal-Mart commercial that is playing now set to Taylor Swift's song "Never Grow Up". I cant see that commercial without crying. Because that's what i'm thinking continally right now. Never grow up Caleb. Never grow up..!

Confessoin: The first couple of months of Caleb's life were hard. I was a basketcase..! I tought I wasnt cut out to be a mom. It was such a drastic change... going from working full-time and being out-and-about all the time to being stuck at a home with a baby.. alone....A baby who at the time seemed very difficult. I was in pain from L and D- which you expect some pain, but I didnt expect so much pain. And of course with L and D you lose a lot of blood- and you dont sleep- so I was incredibly tired. So before having a baby, I thought yes, a newborn would be hard. which they are. but then factor in pain, weak from losing blood (medical term=anemia), not getting any sleep, and then having to go straight into caring for a newborn without any time to recover....yikes. it was hard. Oh and on top of that, your hormones go crazy after giving birth... so that adds a whole other layer of complexity to the situation! Friends and family kept saying.. just give it time. It'll get better. When you're living in it though, it's hard to upderstand that. it's hard to realize that your body will heal. you wont always feel so exhausted. your hormones will regulate eventually, and you'll be better. I wish I could go back in time and force myself to really understand that. I feel like I kept wishing for time to pass so that I would feel better that I didnt really get to enjoy Caleb when he was so little. He was so tiny....(6lbs 8 oz) so precious then. But like I said, when you're living it, its hard to understand. Next baby I'll know right? except I hear you get to relive all of those emotions all over again...!

So Caleb is 8 months old.. 8 months is a really neat and fun age :). He's babbling now "dadada" "babababa" and sometimes the occasional "mamamama"- and I like to pretend that he knows exactly what he's saying when he babbles mamamama. He's doing this army crawl thing.. hopefully he'll get the hang of real crawling sometime soon... I dont know if he'll get crawling down though because my little stinker is so stubborn and wants to be standing all the time! Caleb has a crazy huge appetite. The pediatrian asked me how many oz he normally eats at his 4 month appt and she was shocked when I told her the number... I think he's just so busy all the time that he needs more calories than the average baby! and he might have inherited my crazy fast metabolsim too! :) He's 90th % for height, 75th % for weight, and his head circumference is off the charts.... thats right- off the charts. Some large clothes wont fit him because I cnat fit them over his head. And we have to buy some pretty large hats for him- hats that almost fit me..!

Here are some things Caleb loves:

• Eating food... I think breakfast and dinner time when he gets solids are his favorite times of the day! He kicks his legs all over the place when he's in his high chair because he's so excited!!
• Looking at himself in the mirror. He's so vain :) Which I would be too if I were that cute.
• When we sing to him. And dance with him. My favorite thing to do with him right now is to dance with him with his cheek next to mine and sing him the "dancing cheek to cheek song". I can see his little smile out of the corner of my eye as I'm dancing with him around the room and its so so precious.
• Bath time. He loves splashing in the water and listening to mommy and daddy sing "splish splash" while we lather him up.
• Going places!! He loves being out and about- seeing different people, places and things
• Dogs. Dogs make him smile. Someitmes I think that he thinks he's a dog because he's always with them.
• Standing. He loves standing and walking while you are holding his hand.
• Reading books. He sits there with his legs kicking and smiles when he sees his favorite pages
• knocking down blocks. and taking off peoples glasses
• A new thing that he just started doing yesterday- putting a big toy in his mouth and holding it there while he lets go of it and then grunting until I notice. And then starts laughing and wants me to laugh wiht him when I look over at him and see whatever big toy he's captured in his mouth. he's a ham.

Sigh. my little man is amazing. I want to freeze life right now....never grow up caleb. please?

update!

Updates of whats been going on this summer!!:

-Went to Europe with the family- had a great time! Saw tons of stuff (reference facebook pics), saw old friends, survived being crammed in a car with the family for 2000 miles, ate good food, made some good memories… I can’t wait to go back!! Next time, I’ll bring chad along though ;) 10 days is way too long to be apart…!

-Went to Amy’s bachelorette weekend at a lake house in Hiawassee!! Had a great time catching up with old friends, meeting new friends, and relaxing at the lake- multiple people in Hiawassee asked us if we were going to Atlanta later to celebrate… they were pretty dumbfounded when they found out that we actually left Atlanta to celebrate in Hiawasee! :)

-Chad and I went to PCB for labor day weekend- a last minute spur of the moment decision- We were only going to go for one night, but a couple from our SS class who has a place in PCB graciously offered to let us stay with them for another night!! So our short trip turned into a long weekend. We had a blast!! My stomach saw the sun for the first time in a looooonnnggg time (and subsequently burned- but only a little!!) and it was nice to go to the beach with Chad, even though it was super short… We’re now in planning mode for a longer vacation next summer… we have two free round trip tickets from Airtran (bc of engine trouble the plane had while we were en route to Las Vegas…) so we’re considering either doing a Caribbean trip (and doing an all-inclusive resort type deal) or doing a Seattle/Vancouver trip … any votes as to where we should go??

-We’re meeting some more neighbors!! There was a neighborhood cookout last month where we got to meet some new folks - Chad and I know the neighbors who walk their dogs because we normally run into them when we walk Bella, but we haven’t really had an opportunity to meet the unfortunate neighbors who don’t have dogs :)…, so it was nice to meet some new people!! I also was able to meet more women in the neighborhood by attending ‘Bunko night’. Every month, the ladies get together to play Bunko- people take turns providing dinner and hosting the event and they all sit around rolling dice and talking for a couple of hours :). I was a little bummed about it being on a Tuesday night because it meant I had to miss the season premiere of Glee, but one of the ladies invited me to come over to her place the next day to watch it because she has a DVR….score!

-Weddings Weddings Weddings! Which means showers showers showers!! I’ve been to a lot of showers recently… and the Fall wedding season kicks off on Saturday when Amy marries Allen! One of my coworkers is getting married the following week, followed by my brothers wedding, then my cousin’s (alex’s) wedding, and then Rachel and Scott’s wedding to top it off! It will be a fun Fall :)- and between football and weddings, we have a pretty full calendar the next few months!

-2 yr anniversary! Chad and I celebrated our anniversary last Sunday by going out to eat at a restaurant in Serenbe (called the Hil). We weren’t all that impressed with the food (it could have just been what we ordered..), but we had a good time driving around the community and seeing horses, goats, donkeys, and pot-bellied pigs!

So that’s what we’ve been up to! Maybe next time I won’t take so long to update...

Jeanne Calle

Maybe I’ll update my vacation travels, but for now, something that’s been on my mind.

In February of 2009, I came to work and saw several coworkers crying and found out that the head of our department, who had retired a couple of weeks earlier, had been murdered in her condominium in midtown during a robbery… It was a very trying and emotional time for everyone and it was incredibly sad … especially witnessing as each new person was told the news upon his or her arrival into the office …. I didn’t know Jeanne that well- I had just started working as she started transitioning out of the American Cancer Society so I only had a few interactions with her. However, her loss was very hard for a lot of my coworkers.. she had been at ACS for 20 years and had developed close relationships with a lot of the people on staff. Fortunately, the man who murdered Jeanne was arrested the day after Jeanne’s body was found- he had returned to the condominium to attempt to steal more things but was stopped by security and was later apprehended by police.

I learned a couple of weeks ago that the killer was finally going to be tried starting on August 23…. I couldn’t believe that it takes over a year and half for a trial to occur!! And my heart was hurting for all of my coworkers because I knew the trial was going to be very emotional for all of them. I’m sure many of them would have attended the trial out of respect for Jeanne, and I know that that would have been really really hard……. So I was praying that God would wrap his comfort around everyone, bring some peace, a reassurance of his presence… and I was worrying about it a lot.

In a surprising turn of events, we found out yesterday that the murderer was going to go ahead and plead guilty, with no pre-agreement on his sentence, and waiving all rights of appeal- meaning that there was no longer any need for a trial. The judge sentenced him to life in prison. This is good news as it is the same sentence he would have received if convicted by a jury, without everyone having to go through the heartbreaking ordeal of a trial. So I guess it ended as best as it possibly could, even though that seems weird to say under the circumstances.

Jeanne was an amazing researcher (just go to google scholar and type EE Calle…!!) and a great friend to many here at ACS. I’m sure her legacy will live on for many years to come…

Here’s an article written in her memory that was published in Cancer Research:

http://cancerres.aacrjournals.org/content/69/7/3238.full

-Chrissy

digital piano!

Chad and I just ordered a digital piano.... should come in in a few days.. I'm so excited!! I grew up playing piano but haven't really had easy access to a piano since I started college, so I'm anxious to get back to playing and see how hard it is to pick up where I left off!

I would love to have a real piano, but we don't really have the space. The only way to make it work would be to put a flat screen tv over the fireplace to free up a space big enough to put a piano... and that would mean buying a flat screen tv since chad and i havent upgraded yet (yes i know, we live in the stoneage) and dealing with a hard installation process (since I hate wires, they would have to go into the wall somehow.. and we would also need to lower the mantle so the TV wouldnt be too high... which is a large task we're not ready to tackle at the moment!) So we decided to get a digital piano instead, which is much smaller and can easily fit on one of the walls without having to drastically rearrange our den or make things look too crowded. Other advantages of a digital piano- no tuning required every year! and I can still play if chad's watching tv bc I can just plug in my headphones!

Chad and I have been shopping around for a month or so and we made the mistake of trying a top-of-the-line digital piano, even though it was way out of our price range.... after that, none of the basic digital pianos which were in our price range sounded good to me... but then we found a great deal online (50% off...!) on one of the nicer digtal pianos (a roland piano that has all of the specs that I really wanted..!) The website said it was an 'open-box' item and we called and they said they couldnt see anythign wrong with it, so we ordered it on tuesday! I'm crossing my fingers that everythings going to look/work right when it comes in! If not, its no big deal since we can just return it... I just hope nothing is wrong with it bc I'm so excited about getting such an awesome digital piano! Chads excited too, although I think he's going to annoy me to no end by experimenting with all the different 'voice' options the piano has.  I'm very grateful to have such a sweet husband though who would rather me have a digital piano than to buy a fancy new flat screen tv or some other cool technological gadget :)  Chad says he wants to learn how to play piano.... we'll see how good of a piano teacher i am and how much patience I can muster... :)

In other news, I'll be in France next week!! My parents and sister are going, and they invited me to tag along! Sadly, Chad has to stay behind bc he doesn't have enough vacation days, but in my absence, he gets to watch Bella as well as my parents 3 dogs. It should be a fun and hilarious time for him since Bella and my parents 3 dogs combine to form a veritable mess of craziness.. I laugh everytime I think about poor Chad coming home from work and being greeted by the goldendoodle, the golden retriever, and the two dachshunds ready to play.. they are going to drive him bonkers, and i can't help but smile when i think about the look of amusement mixed with exasperation that he's going to have on his face...  sorry Chad!!! :)

a bientot!

grand canyon & las vegas!

so.. I keep wanting to post pictures to the blog to recap what Chad and I have been up to lately, but it seems whenever I think about updating the blog, I dont have the camera with me. and then I don't end up writing. well, I don't have the camera this morning either, but I'll go ahead and write about whats coming up and then I'll recap whats been going on later...maybe...?? so.. stay tuned for a recap later on- (i know yall are waiting in suspense....)

whats coming up.... Chad and I are super excited!! We're going on vacation to Las Vegas and to the Grand Canyon in a few weeks! .. We'll spend some time in the Grand Canyon hiking and enjoying nature and then a couple of days in Las Vegas doing who knows what (any suggestions??) I've never been to Nevada or Arizona so I think it'll be a really neat experience- traveling is pretty much my favorite thing ever.

I realize that I'm not the easiest person to travel/vacation with, but thankfully Chad likes that about me (or at least he tells me so...haha) Whenever I go on vacation, I have to always be doing something.. I can't just sit around and relax. So no sleeping in late or lolly-gagging around. I'm pretty spastic about it actually-if Chad wants to sleep in, I poke and prod him and call him a lolly-gagger until he finally gives up and agrees to join me in whatever thing I want to that morning. (after-all, if all you wanted to do was sleep in or sit around relaxing, you could have just stayed at home.. right?) I just hate the thought of missing out on something or not taking an opportunity to do something that I might never get to do again! so.. we're going on vacation, but it might not be all that restful.. :). and in addition, it seems when we go on vacation, we have to cram it all in in a short amount of time because Chad gets woefully less vacation time than me (2 weeks as opposed to 5 weeks), so that makes me all the more spastic... :)

I blame my parents for my spastic nature- thats how we grew up doing vacations. Chad's family seems to chill out and relax more, so Chad definitely had to get used to the Clements way of vacationing (he's vacationed with my family a few times). Chad also had to get used to the "Clements pace"- apparently we walk a lot faster than anyone he ever hung out with growing up- I think we've built up his leg muscles/endurance enough now though that it doesnt even phase him, and he can keep up with the fastest Clements in the bunch- (sorry for the digression...)

anyway, all of the rambling to say that we're going on vacation in a few weeks and we're super excited!!! :)

Update!

So… ivy is 80-90% pulled up, but right now I think we’re in the ‘origin’ of it all… the vines are thicker and harder to pull up and are crazy intertangled…. This is where the granddaddy vines live. And they are not giving up their claim on our backyard very easily…..thankfully chad and I haven’t gotten too much poison ivy this past month and we can see the light at the end of the tunnel… now if we can just finish pulling it all up before all of the bugs start emerging! (ive warned chad that once this starts, I’ll be MIA and he’ll have to finish the job all by his lonesome!) We’re piling up all of the ivy that we’ve pulled so far into a huge mound right over our fence line. When we’re all done, I’ll have to take a picture of the mound and post it so you can see the extent of our work.. its insane!! And we have to figure out what to do with the hhhhuuuuuge pile… maybe pour tons of gasoline on it and torch it all…..

In other news, last week I started noticing that my Civic was acting a little weird- when it would switch gears, it would rev up before sticking and I had a sneaking suspicion that it had something to do with the transmission- I figured it wasn’t really that big of a deal though because my car only has about 70k miles on it and it’s a Honda- supposed to be a reliable car, right? And I know nothing about cars, so I was probably wrong anyway and my car was perfectly fine- so I just put it in the back of my mind.

....So… I absolutely hate putting gas in my car. (I guess I inherited it from my mom who refuses to put gas in her car- she’d rather run out of gas than pump gas so my dad has to stay on his toes and make sure that he fills up her car when it starts getting low!!... but I digress…..) My car was on empty, so Chad switched cars with me so that I could drive his car to work and he could fill up my car on his way to work. I am super glad that Chad drove my car to work that day, because while he was driving it, my Honda all of the sudden went kaput (well I’m not happy that it died on chad, but im glad it didn’t happen with me driving bc I would have become a major stress-ball- especially if it happened on I-85.. I don’t think it would have been very pretty to say the least …). It wouldn’t accelerate at all and he had to coast to the side of the road (highway 74) and call a tow-truck to take it to a repair shop. A tow-truck!!! My poor Honda Civic that has never ever given me any trouble at all had to be towed!!

So the verdict is, my car needs a new transmission (well actually its going to get rebuilt). Did you know that transmission work is EXPENSIVE!?! It hurts to think about what we could have bought with the money we’re spending on the transmission!! (not that we would have, but still, you know?) We could have taken an amazing vacation, or bought some awesome furniture, or paid for someone else to deal with all of the ivy! So anyways, I’m trying not to think about how much it is and to just acknowledge it’s a necessary part of life- part of owning cars- part of growing up. Thankfully, Chads dad is away on business this week so we can borrow his car and we don’t have to worry about getting to work at the same time with one car when we work in completely opposite direction!

On that note, happy spring! Wasn’t Saturday beeea-utiful!!!??